


I'm a little lost without you

by OtteryStCatchpole



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26320924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtteryStCatchpole/pseuds/OtteryStCatchpole
Summary: Bill Weasley one shot where they dated throughout Hogwarts years, broke up when he left for Egypt and are reunited years later.
Relationships: Bill Weasley/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 17





	I'm a little lost without you

_September 1st 1982 was the first time I set eyes on Bill. 'William Weasley' was called up by the sorting hat and swiftly sent to Gryffindor table. His hair was longer than most and a vibrant ginger colour, making him easy to spot in any room. I tried not looking over at him much, I didn't want him to discover my growing crush on him, but somehow my eyes always ended up back in his direction even when I wasn't trying. It didn't take long for him to catch on. The muggle-born who blushed every single time he caught her eye, sandy hair purposefully falling to cover her face whenever it happened. My friends didn't help either, teasing me whenever he entered a room, making it their mission that the whole castle knew 'Vivian likes Bill'._

_The worst time was during dinner. I had caught him looking this time, but the moment our eyes connected was the same moment I had sunk my teeth into a drumstick. Someone couldn't have cursed me to look worse in that moment. My face simultaneously felt drained of colour and red hot as the eye contact didn't break. His face was unreadable at first, a deer caught in the headlights as much as I had been, but then a smile broke out across his face. It was adorable, my heart melted at the sight, and then he looked away. The whole thing couldn't have been more than 5 seconds, but it had felt like a lifetime and it didn't leave my mind for the rest of the feast. He was looking at me. He smiled. Did he like me? Could he? Was I overthinking the entire thing?_

_I was lost in the castle when he approached me. I had purposefully left early from the feast to try and avoid him on the walk back to the common room, but the staircases weren't being friendly and I ended up in a part of the castle completely unfamiliar to me. I wasn't sure I would even have the castle fully memorised by my final year. His hand landed on my shoulder to grab my attention and I almost screamed. If I had been a cartoon character, you would have seen my skeleton jump from my body for a second. "Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you", his expression was so soft and he almost looked nervous, "you seemed a little lost and well I thought I would introduce myself"._

_"I'm slightly lost" I admitted, my cheeks flaring up. I had never actually spoken to him before. "I've never been to this part of the castle, I wish the staircases would stop changing". My voice was more rushed than usual, trying my best not to make a fool of myself._

_"Well slightly lost, I'm Bill" A grin broke out on his face at the terrible pun and I couldn't help but laugh. It was adorable. He was adorable._

_"Vivian" I said, my hands becoming clammy so I tried to subtly wipe them off on my robes._

I looked at the empty chair on the table, knowing exactly who was missing from it. I hadn't been to the Burrow for years. I used to come each Sunday for dinner, at first with Bill, then alone when he had to leave for Egypt. Eventually I stopped. First it was just avoiding the Burrow when Bill came home to visit, then it was avoiding going each week after. It was too much to see Bill's family, his things, see memories of us left to gather dust in his old room. More than anything it felt weird, wrong, we weren't dating anymore. He'd met someone in Egypt, I met someone at work. I needed to stop holding onto something that only hurt me.

_"Come with me Vivian" He took my hands in his, eyes pleading._

_"Bill... my work is here, my family is here" I could hardly meet his eyes. I loved him more than anything I could think of, but I couldn't drop everything in my life to follow him._

Molly helped massively, been there to support me on countless teary nights. I'd known her since I was 12 and first came to visit Bill, she was practically a second mother to me. We still sent letters occasionally, kept each other up to date, but that was it. 

Dinner was being set out on the long table, Molly floating food over from the kitchen. It was surprisingly pleasant being able to catch up with everyone, but there was the occasional awkward moment when Bill's name got mentioned and they paused, a look of horror and discomfort washing over their faces in case I got upset or offended. I wasn't, and Molly always jumped into the conversations knowing the exact thing to say to make things light-hearted once more. It was sweet to hear how he was doing sometimes, that he was happy. As Molly finally sat down for food, people raising their forks, the door of the Burrow opened. 

"Oh, who's that now" Molly let out a heavy sigh, placing her fork down and made her way over to the front. Everyone paused, looking at one another confused, "Bill! Deary! We weren't expecting you!" Molly greeted, presumably pulling her son into a hug. 

"Thought I'd drop by and surprise you all, I brought presents!". It wasn't until I heard his voice that what was happening really hit me. Everyone looked at me as if I was a puppy they had just run over. My stomach was doing knots. I hadn't seen Bill in years. It was nice to hear about him but I didn't want to see him. 

"Well that's very sweet of your deary but honestly! Warn us next time!" It sounded like she slapped his arm, and then I heard him laugh. 

"Okay mum! Okay" He was smiling as he walked over to the table and it hurt my heart to see. We were all waiting for him to spot me. His hair was outrageously long now, an aged scar running down his face. He wore a large, murky green overcoat covering a blue check shirt and grey waist coat. He shrugged the coat off, hanging it over the back of his chair, and that's when he saw me. It felt like an elephant was stood on me as I waited a moment, naively hoping he might not focus on me, before giving an awkward smile. I could feel my chest tightening, heart racing inside it. His face was blank at first, near unreadable. He always had kept his emotions close to his chest, but that usually fell apart around his family. His face began to race through emotions from confusion to happiness to hurt. It was all in his eyes, I could still read him like a book.

"Lucky we kept you a seat" Molly said, finally sitting herself back down. 

"Vivian" He said, still standing behind his chair, every member of the family awkwardly fidgeting in their own. 

"The food is going to go cold, sit down Bill" Said Molly, starting to dish out the food onto people's plates. He obeyed, the smile on his face replaced likely by the same panic I was feeling myself.

_"So, this is the famous Vivian" Molly Weasley teased as she welcomed me to their home, the Burrow. Bill and I had become inseparable through our first year and it hadn't taken long into the second year for him to finally ask me out. That summer, I was officially invited to Burrow to meet their family and had returned every holiday since then._

The Burrow had always stirred memories for me and I tried my best not to let them cloud my head. I had learned to look back and smile at them, enjoy them, but with Bill being sat a mere metre from me it made them painful. For a few minutes the table remained silent before Arthur jumped in.

"Had any interesting cases in Egypt?". The conversation thankfully picked up after that, everyone skirting around addressing that both Bill and I were sat at the table for the first time in years. We even managed to exchange some pleasantries ourselves. Was it appropriate for me to ask about his girlfriend? I didn't know much about her besides her name, fleur, and that they had met through the ministry. It didn't really matter about her. Then I saw a ring on his fourth finger, and my appetite died.

"Bloody hell I'm stuffed" Ron pushed his plate away, leaning back in the chair. Molly always made large portions and even as an adult it seemed Ron hadn't learnt to pace himself. 

"It was lovely Molly" I smiled, placing down my knife and fork, "If you'll excuse me, I need to pop to the loo". I hoped no one had heard anything unusual in my voice. It shouldn't have upset me, it really shouldn't, but for a second it felt how it had when we first broke up. I got up quickly, heading to the bathroom, locking the door behind me as I drew in an unstable breath. I could feel warm tears building in my eyes, ready to stain my cheeks the second I blinked. I would not cry. I would not cry. I leaned on the sink, looking into the mirror, watching as the first tear finally fell, and that was it. I blinked and the tidal wave came out. I bit harshly into my lip, refusing to make a sound. Fuck. I was being pathetic. I needed to pull myself together. Then a knock at the door. Fuck fuck fuck. I used my sleeve to quickly wipe away any tears, fanning my hands at my face to try and stop anymore forming. 

"Viv?". It was Bill. Why the fuck did it need to be Bill? There were 9 members of this bloody family, it could've been any of the other eight and I would've been fine. 

"One moment" I said, hoping I gave a convincing 'not been crying' voice. He didn't say anything further. I splashed my face with cold water, drying it off quickly with the towel. My eyes looked slightly red, but it was possible I could pass as if I hadn't just been crying. I hadn't been crying long enough to puff my face up thank god. I bit down on my tongue, using it as a crutch to keep a straight face as I opened the door, but upon seeing him there I couldn't stop a smile from breaking out on my face. It was automatic when I saw him. 

"Sorry" I said, moving out of his way to let him into the bathroom. 

"Are you alright?" He seemed concerned. Nope nope nope.

"Yeah, think I ate too much, gonna get some air" I headed off down the corridor, praying he wouldn't follow or ask anymore questions. He didn't. I heard the bathroom door click behind him and let out a deep breath. Leaving now would seem abrupt, and apparating away would simply cause more questions for later and make it stupidly obvious what was going on, but I didn't want to be around anyone right now. Instead, I made my way silently to Bill's old room and closed the door behind me. It always smelt slightly dusty in here, Molly left it alone completely. She never wanted to disturb his belongings in case one day Bill didn't come back from curse-breaking. I went over to his window, swinging it open and welcoming in the fresh air. 

_"It's not much but-"_

_"I love it" I cut him off, leaning half my body out of the window, gazing across the fields upon fields which surrounded his house. The Burrow was constantly filled with noise from his siblings and parents, wildlife causing a chorus of noises outside and the Ghoul banging on the pipes._

We had spent countless nights on his bed, staring at the stars through his window, talking about the future and our lives together, recounting nights we had snuck about the castle and abused his prefect and head-boy status, revised for upcoming tests over the holidays. I rested my hands on the window sill, suddenly feeling 13 again, leaning out of the window, smiling as the cold breeze pinched the tip of my nose and ears. 

"You always loved that window" The sudden voice made me jump, I hadn't even heard him come in, and then my balance was going. I could feel my body leaning further and further forward, trying to use my hands to push back against the windowsill, but gravity was winning this one. I heard him coming this time, rushing across the room, grabbing hold of my shoulders to pull me back. My heart was thumping, a burst of adrenaline being pumped around my body from the near fall. 

"Bill, thanks" I said, smiling a little and sitting myself down on the windowsill, making sure I had a firm grip this time. 

"Surprised you haven't fallen out of it before to be honest" He gave a smile back, sitting down on his bed. I shouldn't have looked, it didn't matter, but my I found my eyes searching for the ring on his hand again. It was there, but it wasn't on his left hand. It was his right. And what originally looked like a plain golden band was actually a chunkier, rectangular shaped ring. Then there was hope. Dumb hope, useless and naïve. He still worked in Egypt, I still didn't want to go to Egypt. We had still been dating other people, we hadn't been involved in years, just because he wasn't married didn't mean he wasn't still with his girlfriend.

"Probably because you were always there to stop me". This was the first time I got to see him fully. He wore chunky boots still coated in sandy dirt from Egypt, loose black jeans kept in place with a plain back belt, shirt not tucked in, but he had rolled the sleeves up since dinner began, showing off the slight muscle he'd developed in his arms through his work. Around his neck was a fabric necklace, some sort of dragon tooth hanging from it, framed by the top few buttons of his shirt being undone. "Are you checking me out?" He asked, shocked and amused. 

"No!" I hadn't even realised what I'd been doing and I had to focus on not letting a blush rise to my cheeks, but the harder I thought about it, the hotter they felt and inevitably brighter they'd be.

"You've always been such a terrible liar Vivian". I rolled my eyes, avoiding direct eye contact with him. 

"I've not seen you in years Bill! Forgive me for looking in your direction" I bit down on my tongue, unable to hide the large smile forcing its way onto my face. He was smiling just as much back, trying his best to gain eye contact where I was avoiding it. 

"Do you still think I look good?" He asked when he finally got eye contact. I paused, unsure I'd heard him correctly, looking at him puzzled. Quiet filled the room with only a faint murmur of voices from downstairs and the hum of crickets or other insects through the window being heard. I had no idea what to say, but I didn't want to let the moment pass.

"Not too bad Weasley. Don't you have a girlfriend?" I couldn't help the question coming out. 'Not too bad'? The hell kind of response was that? I cringed in myself at saying it, but surely that was no worse than him asking if he still looked good. He started this.

"Ah, no, we broke up a few months ago" Bill glanced down, twisting the ring that was on his finger, before looking back up, "Have you got anyone?". I wasn't sure what to say. I wasn't officially seeing anyone. I'd been on a few dates with people recently, but I hadn't dated anyone in over a year. He didn't need to know that though. I didn't want it to seem like I never got over him. I shook my head, not elaborating further. I didn't need to comment further. Just because I wasn't dating someone now didn't mean I never had. I wonder if he'd ever asked Molly about me.

"Do I still look good" I flipped the question back on him. 

"Ohhh I don't know about that" He teased and I watched as his eyes ran up and down my body. 

"Well then I take back everything I just said" I grinned. I couldn't believe what was happening right now. It was dumb. We were going to get hurt. But I didn't care.

"I don't recall saying there were take backs"

"That's because you didn't, I did, just now" 

Then the door opened. Both of us immediately looked to see who was interrupting, embarrassed to have been caught flirting. It was Charlie. 

"Mum was wondering where you were, dessert is being served", he was looking between the two of us but didn't say anything. I stood up to go down, but Bill spoke before I got very far.

"We'll be down in a minute". Charlie nodded, heading off, and I looked to Bill. I was substantially closer to him after having stood up and taken a couple steps. His room wasn't the largest. He stood up and I could feel my heart in my throat, feeling like a teen anticipating their first kiss again. He placed a hand on my cheek, gently brushing his thumb across it before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine. I wasn't sure what to do at first. I was expecting it and I still didn't know how to react. I had no idea what to do with myself. I rested my hand on the side of his neck, kissing back for a moment but couldn't stop the smile taking over my face instead. I pecked his lips, ready to tell him if we were too long people would know what's up. 

"Charlie will have already told everyone" He said, nudging his nose against mine before giving me a soft kiss. It amazed me he still knew what I would be thinking. This time I melted into him, kissing back. His hand found my hip and mine his chest as we stood there, ignoring as time passed us by. I could feel the joy of it across my whole body, pulling back from him.

"I kind of want dessert though" I took my hand off his chest, reaching for his off my hip and instead intertwined our fingers. I couldn't describe the euphoria I felt simply from holding his hand again, "Do we go down together? Is that too obvious?" 

"Viv, Charlie, remember?" He found my eyes, looking straight into them. It felt weird to be looking back into his eyes. I hadn't focused on them for years, seen all the beautiful patterns decorating his iris. 

"Evening" George was leaning on the doorframe, dragging out the word, a smirk on his face, "That'll be a Galleon Freddy boy". 

"You two made a bet?" Bill looked over in near disbelief, slightly irritated to have been interrupted again.

"The second you walked in" Grinned Fred, handing the coin over to his twin, "Mum wants you both, threatened to come get you herself, we'll tell her you're busy" 

"You'll do no such thing" Bill said, "absolute wind-up merchants" He shook his head. Even as an adult it felt awkward to have your mum know much about your romantic life. 

"I expect that door open at all times Bill" Fred mimicked their mum, swinging open the door to Bill's bedroom to find him and Vivian on the bed, her in his lap.

"Oh god! Gross! My eyes!" He cried, immediately turning away, "put some clothes on!"

"We're wearing clothes! You little shits!" Bill looked over. He couldn't get a second of peace in this house. Vivian pulled herself off his lap feeling awkward around the whole thing.

"We're telling mum" George rushed off down the corridor.

"You'll do no such thing" Bill yelled, grabbing his wand to run after his younger brothers.

Bill and I headed downstairs with the twins, hand in hand at first, but we let go as we neared the kitchen. It felt strange. It was too much of a declaration. Looking at the table, everyone had shifted slightly. Ginny was now sat in my seat, her seat next to Bill's being the only available one now. I guess they knew. No one commented on it, although the twins made some teasing remarks only to be swiftly told off by Molly. Conversation was much livelier now than it had been over dinner, people less cautious about what they said or who they spoke to. It felt like falling back into a rhythm I had always known, like I had put on an old forgotten about jumper which used to be worn daily. 

"You could stay tonight" Bill suggested to me after dinner. We were sat on a two-person sofa hidden away in a corner of the Burrow, away from the lounge where most people were gathered. I nodded, reaching once again to take his hand in mine. 

"I'd love that".


End file.
